Your Words Exactly!
by dRaGoNgUrL1
Summary: Humor brought to a whole new level! My yami's own talk show featuring YuGiOh characters meeting... well... everyone! read it, you'll probably like it. it's pure insanity and a whole lotta sugar!
1. Episode 1

Your Words Exactly!

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or X-Men or Elmo, but I, Kiely, Dragongurl1's yami, do own this story!!! (And y not, I'll own my hikari too!) **O no u won't! Anyway, as I was saying, this is very random and was just a lot of fun to make, especially since I get to bash my hikari!!! ^v^ **O_O whaa?!?!?****

**Episode 1-**

Kiely- Hey everyone!!! Welcome to Your Words Exactly!, the one and only talk show where yamis rule and anything can happen!!! We are live from the Millennium Sugar Packet. With me today are my hikari [Dragongurl waves to audience], my ex-boyfriend Bakura [Bakura's hair starts flying around and he grins evilly], my new boyfriend Seto Kaiba [Kaiba menacingly stares at audience. Audience is too frightened to clap.], Logan, a.k.a the Wolverine [Logan growls for his fans while everyone in the crowd gives him a standing ovation. Dragongurl jumps up to give him a hug.] As u can see my hikari is an obsessed maniac… 

DG- I'm not obsessed!

Kiely- [pushes a button on her remote- reveals view of DG's room: Pictures of Logan are everywhere…] … you were saying?!

DG- Uhhh… right, continue… [Grabs remote and presses button again. room disappears. Goes to seat right next to Logan and grabs his arm.]

Kiely- Right...Also with me today are Rogue ["Hi ya'll!"], Tea ["We'll all be such good friends!"], and Apocalypse [starts glowing and room shakes. Little purple energy sphere begins to form on coffee table.] Hey! That's brand new!!!! I got that as a present from Magneto!!!

Tea- Neato!!!

Everyone else- O_o 

Kiely- Riiiight… so, to start off my show, i asked you all to prepare a special drink. Pokey, would you like to go first?

Apocalypse- [maliciously stares at Kiely and then reaches for a glass vial full of a strange purplish liquid.]

Kiely- Lovely color! Now, who would like to be the first to try it? Tea! How about you!

Tea- Of course I'll try it, that's what friends are for! [Takes vial, takes big gulp.] Tastes like armadillo…Oooo… look at the pretty col- *_*…

Logan- What happened to the Half-Pint?! 

Rogue- Don' look at me, Ah didn't touch 'er. 

Seto- [thinks: _Damn, she doesn't have an Egyptian god card…but at least she'll shut up with the "friendship" crap!_]

Kiely- Uhhh… guys… she's turning into a bug!!!

DG- AHHHHH!!!! A BUG!!! SQUISH IT!!!!! [Runs around room trying to squash Tea]

Bakura- [mutters] Crazy bakkas… I knew I shoulda sent them all to the Shadow Realm when I had the chance…

Logan- What was that, bub? [_snikt__! Do I really have to tell u?!]_

Bakura- [takes one look at Logan's claws] (In British accent, quite like Ryou) N-nothing sir!

Logan- [_snakt!] Thought so…_

Apocalypse- [pulls out another vial filled w/ green liquid, shakes it tauntingly]

Kiely- The antidote! NOO!!!!! GIVE IT HERE!!! I MUST DESTROY IT!!!!

Seto- [playfully{reserved only for family and love interests}] Keep the Vial away from Kiely!!! 

Rogue- All right, games!!! 

DG- AHH! [stomps hard] Got her! [Looks at bottom of shoe]… ewww….

Everyone- YAY!!!!! NO TEA!! NO TEA!!!

Tea- [walks through door] Hey guys, sorry I'm late, Yugi wanted me to reorganize his secret sock collection and Tristan and Duke refused to get out of bed… 

Everyone- O_O AHHH!!!! A CLONE!!!!! RUN!!!!

**We interrupt this broadcast to bring you this message: [dancing states file on screen singing] "51 nifty-1 United States from 13 original colonies and the Ming Dynasty…" [file off stage] And Hamilton wanted to give the rich a steak. Now back to your irregularly schedule madness… ooo, look, sugar… **

Kiely- Due to the sudden unexplainable misfortune of Tea's return, we have been forced to reconvene in the Millennium Bathroom. 

Bakura- [rubbing a roll of toilet paper] ooo, 4-ply… so soft…

DG- O_O GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!

Joey- [appears at the door dancing frantically…] Uhhh… guys, I really gotta go!!!

Seto- Wheeler!!! [Turns to Kiely] What's he doing at YOUR house?! 

Kiely- Uhhh… I don't know…Rogue? [Turns to Rogue who is staring into space]

Rogue- [snaps out of it] Don' look at me, Ah never touched anyone! Especially not Kaiba!

Kiely- YOU DID WHAT?!?!?! 

Logan- Want me to take care of them, kid? [_snikt__!]_

Bakura- [hair flying] AH-HA-HA-HA!!!!! You've all fallen for my trap card, Canine Illusion!!! 

All- [blank stares] O_O

Logan- Or how about that one… 

Rogue-Uhhh, Baghera, it's not a duel thingy…

Bakura- MY NAME IS NOT BAGHERA YOU INHUMAN FREAK!!!! 

All- [gasp!]

Logan- [_snakt! Growls]_

Joey- Guys!!! Really gotta go!!!!

Kiely- All to the Millennium Candy Store!!!

Seto- Not exactly the setting I would've hoped for…

DG- CANDY!!!!!!!

Kiely- Uh, did I say candy store, I meant closet… no, the guest room.

[All go to guest room. Kiely opens door.]

Elmo- La la la la la la la la la la, Elmo's World!

Kiely- [slams door shut] Uhhh… that was freaky…o crap, show's almost over. Bye Sugar-Less People!!!

All- Your Words Exactly!!!! 

Eppy 2- Tour of Kaiba's and It's a Yami's Life Monday at 1AM Egyptian on SHYT (Sugar High Yami Television) and 5 PM on the GHGCN (Get High & Go Crazy Network)

Credits:

Cast: Kiely, DragonGurl1, Logan, Joey Wheeler, Seto Kaiba, Yami Bakura, Rogue, Apocalypse, Tea Gardner, Elmo.

Special Thanks to: Mira Nova 23, my hikari's Honors U.S History teacher for having the craziest class that never talks about history, Marvel for creating the X-men in the first place and Konami for creating Yu-gi-oh… o, and everyone else who will probably have to put up w/ me ranting and raving about this in skool… 


	2. Sugar, Drinks, and a Sense of Craziness

Your Words Exactly! 

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or X-men. I Kiely do own this story. (O and I don't know if you've noticed, but I changed this from Crossovers to Yu-Gi-Oh. Every episode will feature Yu-Gi-oh characters.  so here we go!!! Be prepared for Bashing!!! (By the way, the Latin phrase Pax amor et lepos in iocando [Peace, Love, and a Sense of Fun] is my new motto and the main theme of today's show… just Yami-ized!!!!) Sugar is nice… 

**Episode 2- "Sugar, Drinks and a Sense of Craziness!!!"**

Announcer- Live from Kiely's Millennium Bedroom, here's your host, Kiely!!!!

Kiely- Hey! Welcome to another crazy episode of Your Words Exactly! I know we said this episode would be a tour, but someone was a bit grouchy when he woke up this morning… [Crowd turns to stare at Seto] 

DG- Ooo!!! Ooo!!! I wanna announce the guests this time!!!! Can I can I can I?!?!?! 

Seto- You didn't invite the mutt again did you?! [perks up] Did you invite Marik?! I WANT RA!!!!!

Kiely- [deep sigh. Turns to audience] You see what I gotta put up with?! [turns back to DG and Seto]  Fine, you can announce today's guests, and no, Marik's not here… this time… [watches Seto frown sadly] Here, have some ice cream. 

Seto- [goes off to corner with bowl of ice cream and scowls] Someone's getting fired for this…

DG- YAY!!! K, today's guests are: Serenity Wheeler!!!

Serenity- O:-) I love my big brother Joey!!!!

DG- Yugi Mutou!!!

Yugi- Does this nail polish match my outfit?! I should've trusted in the heart of the makeup… I love Yami… O, hold on, I gotta fix my belts again!

DG- Kitty Pryde (a.k.a. Shadowcat)!!!

Kitty- [head pops out of Seto's ice cream. Seto screams like a girl and throws ice cream across room. Kitty phases through fully before ice cream bowl hits wall.] Whoa! Hey!!!

DG- Jaime (a.k.a. Multiple)!!!

Jaime- Atten-hut!!! [forms little army, army salutes, becomes 1 person again]

Kiely- Great, now shut up so I can get started. [pretends to think hard] You know, I don't think this is going to work…

Serenity- That's what I thought when I was about to have my operation but then my big brother Joey came and…

Seto- WILL U SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT YOUR F***ING BROTHER!!!! Joey this!!!! Joey that!!!!! He's all you ever talk about!!!!! What about me, huh?!?!? Ever consider maybe I don't wanna talk about Joey?!?!? No, you never did!!!!

Yugi- Whoa, I think someone needs to let their feelings out! Let's chant: Ohm…. Oohm…. Ooohm… [sees fist come flying]

Seto- You know, I think the homo's right, that did feel good…

Yugi- [crying hard] … bitch!!!

[Jaime slides farther away from Yugi]

Kiely- O-K… uhh… actually, I was going to suggest something a little more…umm… different. The greatest thing in the world!!!

Seto- Money?!

Serenity- Joey!?

DG- Me?!

All- O_O

DG- It was just a thought…

Kiely- SUGAR U IDIOTS!!!

Seto- Did you just call the great Seto Kaiba an idiot?!?!?!

Jaime- Yea, come on, I can take you on!!! [multiplies into army again]

Serenity- Joey wouldn't like this!!!

All- WOULD YOU SHUT UP!!!!

Kiely- Now I see why you broke up with her… 

Serenity- [in an unusual rage] O_O ME?! IT WAS YOU!!!! [attempts to attack Kiely]

DG, Kitty, & Jaime- ooo… [chomping on sugar cubes while watching fight. Serenity bumps into Jaime causing 20 Jaime's to appear and run around the room frantically]

[Kiely rips out some of Serenity's hair. Serenity screams and lunges for Kiely's throat. Kiely presses button on remote. Serenity is engulfed in little purple sphere, Jaime's disappear, everything goes back to norm- well, the way it was before.] 

Kiely- I must thank Pokey (Apocalypse from X-men Evo.)  again for this remote, it's so useful!!! Commercial Break!!!

**Eat Fish Crunchies!!! Fish-itize me Mako!!! **

**Next on Life in the A.S.Y.L.U.M- Doctors say that 10 out of 6 patients show signs of schizophrenia. Monday nights at 7.**

**Hey kids!!! Let's all learn the Sugar song!!! I love sugar cuz it's so delicious! Gotta have sugar! Bouncing off the walls all day! Sugar high's the way to play! Gotta have sugar! **

**Now back to the show!!**

Kiely- Now where was I… o yes, Trivia Time!!! To start, everyone present gets a bottle of caffeinated wine- don't ask me how it's done, I have the power to do anything!!! [audience cheers] And now I'll pick a member of our audience to join us… hmmm… you! [points to Maximillion Pegasus] 

Pegasus- O must I, Kiely-girl…

Kiely- What-did-you-call-me!?!?!?! [aims remote at his face]

Pegasus- That silly little toy doesn't scare me! I have my Millennium eye!!!

Kiely- Are you sure? [click!] 

Pegasus- [pop! Mini Kuriboh appears and covers eyes] Whaa?! [struggles to get Kuriboh off, finally pulls it off] AHHHH!!! …oww… I want my Mommy!!!!! 

Kiely- O:-) Oops, did I do that?! Anyway, Question #1: True or False? The sky is made up of Alexander Hamilton's boxer shorts.

Jaime- TRUE!!!

Pegasus- FALSE!!!

DG- ORANGE!!! And the Elastic Boxer Short Band Clause!!!!

Kiely- The correct answer is… I don't know yet, we'll have to ask him next eppy… Next question!!! Who was in Washington's Cabinet?

Yugi- Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson!!! I saw them!!! 

DG- Ewww… 

Jaime- Liquor Cabinet!!!!!

Pegasus- Wine and Funny Bunny?!?!?!

Seto- They were plotting to take over my corporation!!!!

Yugi- No actually they were maki-

Kiely- O-K!!! Next Question: Where and when was the bath tub invented?

Pegasus- On my island when I shoved my brother into a river!!!

Seto- At Kaiba Corp. when I tried to drown myself in the pool!!!

Jaime- In Washington's Cabinet next year!!!

DG-At the sugar festival last week!!! 

Kiely- the answer is: I don't know and I don't care… wow, the person who made this answer key must have been very apathetic… cool. Well, that's all the time we have for today! Next week's episode: Happy Hour With The Founding Fathers/Presidents. ROLL CREDITS!!!!

Credits:

Cast: Kiely, DragonGurl1, *Seto Kaiba*, Yugi Mutou, Kitty Pryde, Jaime Madrox, Maximillion Pegasus.

Special thanks to: My US History class, Mira Nova 23.  my hikari for letting me post this under her pen name, my friend "Slap-Happy" for being so random all the time, Konami, 4Kids Entertainment for making Yugi act so gay, Marvel, and Hugh Jackman for being such a great Wolverine…(hey, he was!!! So what if it has nothing to do w/ the story!!!) 


	3. Happy Hour with the Founding Fathers

Your Words Exactly!

**WARNING: mucho bashing here!!! Yes, I'm an American bashing my own country practically but in this wonderfully messed up country of mine (that I love, duh!) I have the freedom of the press (and free speech!)… and the freakiest Honors US History class ever! :-D I said I'd post my notes, well, here they are! I love my country… and X-Men… and Yu-Gi-Oh… and sugar… (Sugar being the best but the others are great too…)**

I own no characters here but my hikari and myself. I don't own YuGiOh, Tommy Hilfiger, Mira Nova 23, Derek Jeter (go Yankees!!!) the Founding Fathers, Bon Jovi, Beach Boys, No Doubt, Mya, Twister, "Stacey's Mom",  etc. I do happen to own this story/plot… be prepared for organized chaos!!!! 

Btw, my hikari and I have separate bodies… one of the millions of perks of owning a remote!!!

**Episode 3- Happy Hour with the Founding Fathers/Presidents **

Live from Kiely's Mini bar (in her Rec Room)!!!

Kiely- Hey people, wat's up? We're gonna go right ahead with the guest list. DG, you know the drill. Don't forget, anything can happen (especially when everybody's at a bar…).

DG- Guests! First up is Thomas Jefferson the strict constructionist.

Jeff- I bid thee good day ladies.

Kiely- uhh…yea, same to you… [whispers to audience] Let's get this guy some new vocab later!

DG- Did you just call him a lady?! O-k... Alexander Hamilton the loose constructionist!!!

Hammy- Hang loose dude! Far out!!! That's like wicked mad!!!!

Kiely- uh, dude, wrong century!

DG- [mutters] yea, much like Jeffer's son over here…

Jeff- I beg your pardon! I am the eldest of the sons of Peter Jefferson none the less!

DG- big whoop… 

Kiely- ah, the wonders of primogeniture… 

DG- O_O whaaa?!?!?! Genit-… shutting up… 

Hammy- Just call him Tommy.

DG- Hilfiger?! Can I have a new jacket or a gift card or something?! Pretty please with all the sugar from my secret Halloween stash?!?!

Hammy- yo, sugar is so awesome!!!

Seto- [walks in late (and half drunk) from party at Mira's where she was holding him hostage… (What can I say, he's just so lovable! ^^) glares at Hammy & Jeff] Who are you and why are you in my seat?! You're plotting to take over my corporation aren't you?!?!

DG- Shut your trap.

Kiely- Don't talk to my Seto like that!!! Come here Seto, I'll sit on your lap…[gets up, Seto sits down, Kiely sits on lap. Seto wraps his arms around her waist]

DG- ugh, puke… whatever… O, look, Ryou's here.

Ryou- [in his supposedly "sophisticated" Brit accent] Hello!

Hammy & Jeff- AHHHHH!!!!

 Jeff- Where is Paul Revere?! He never told us the British were coming!!!

Hammy- Like, run for your life dude!!! Washington!!! Franklin!!! Somebody dude!!! It's, like, an invasion!!! Enforce the Alien Act!!!! The gnarly Martians have arrived!!! Dude!!!!

Kiely- uhh… no… it's a show… 

Seto- [thinking…I have the power to amplify thoughts…eee hee hee he!!!]_ Yea, a freak show…_

 DG- o yea, the Brits gave the Indians arms… and legs I think too… must've taken Bakura's… [During the duel between Bakura and Marik if you don't know]

Ryou- Really, I don't want to cause any trouble…

Ben- [pops up out of nowhere] Let's compromise!!!

DG- uhh… yea, our next guest- Ben Franklin!!

Hammy- All right!!!  Wassup Benny dude!!!

DG- It's At!!!

Hammy- Who's At?

DG- Who's who?

Hammy- yo, chick, I don't know who Who is but who's At???

DG-Ben Franklin! Honestly, to think these are the people who founded the greatest, richest country in the world... 

Seto- _Yea,_ _stupid Americans…_

Ben- Good day! The General is on his way! By the way, have you seen my kite, I believe I lost it during a big storm… but at least my committee of correspondence just sent me the latest issue of  This Wig Weekly.

Washington- [comes in on little river sitting in middle of boat shivering. Crying and muttering] Hate water, bad water, evil icy water…

All- O_O

DG- I don't know which is worse…

Seto- This is your 1st leader?! That's it, I'm taking over your country! And I didn't even have to kidnap your innocent little brother!

Jeff- You shall not! Washington, what do you think of this plan for a National Beverage?

Wash- It's not ice water is it?! I hate ice water… awful stuff… I cannot tell a lie.

Kiely- Really?! Do you think Seto and I make a cuter couple than Mira and Seto?

Wash- [looks at Seto who glares back. Shudders] uhh… yes?

Jeff & Hammy- YAY!!!! Let's play dress up!!! [Drag out trunk of patriotic clothing from behind couch]

Yugi- did someone say dress up?! I brought makeup-my Mayflower Compact!

DG- AHHHHHHH!!!!!! No one told me the homos were coming!!! Raise the alarm!!!

Yugi- [touching Hammy's jacket] ooo, soft deerskin…  

Hammy- This is, like, infringing on my fringed ensemble dude!!!! It's so persona non grata!!!

DG- o, are we having Italian tonight?!

Wash- [sees Millennium Puzzle on chain around Yugi's neck] Either someone attempted to murder this guy or he's just the leader of Triangular Trade…

DG- yea, upside down Triangular Trade… personally I'd like to murder him but his Yami makes great drinks… especially his special!!! Ooo, and triangular trade involves sugar!!! And the red jelly bean shortage of China!!!!

[Mira pops up singing: "This is the trade that never ends! It just goes on and on my friends! Some people started trading stuff not paying any tariffs! And they'll continue smuggling stuff because this is the trade that never ends! It just goes on and on my friends!" Kiely pulls out her remote and Mira continues singing.]

Kiely- I quote the great Princess Fiona when I say "Man that was annoying!!!" [Click! Away goes Mira!] Now where were we?

DG- The little patriots slept with their little Smuggle bears… 

Yugi- I love my Yami!!! I might even ask him to marry me one day…

DG- O_O AHHH!!!! EWWW!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!! 

Kiely- [exasperated sigh] I'll take care of it… [Pulls out remote. 1 click and Yugi is gone. Another and trunk is gone. Puts remote away] I always gotta do everything around here…

Ben- I can fix that, let's com-

Kiely, DG, Seto- SHUT THE F***IN' HELL UP!!!

Ryou- Really guys, must you use profanity so often?!

Kiely, DG, Seto- [look at each other once] YES YOU F***ING A**H***!!! [Censored]

Ryou- Are you stone deaf?!

DG- yea, how can you tell?

All- huh?!

DG- what? 

Seto- He just asked if you were stone deaf and you said yes…

DG- O, I thought he said stoned… 

Kiely- Hey Seto, guess what Burr and Hammy did last night!

Seto- O_O Do I really want to know? [Slides his arms around Kiely and pulls her towards him] Does it have to do with that closet of yours that I like so much?

Kiely- You have such a sick mind! Not that that's always a bad thing… O:-) [Hugs Seto] They had a duel!

Seto- A Duel?! With god cards!??!?!

Kiely- No, better! With GUNS!!!! 

Jeff-[to DG] if they were dueling with guns, wouldn't that glaring dude and his freaky hosty chick realize that Hammy's dead?

DG- They're brain dead, drunk, and in "love", they don't realize a thing… 

[Kiely and Seto are talking as if they are in their own little world. 20 minutes later…]

DG- Lovely conversation, but where's Yami, I'm getting thirsty!!!

 [Yami Yugi pops up dressed up as Bartender (jacket free!!!)]

Yami- Ready for your drinks? 

DG- Perfect timing hottie!!! As always… [Kisses Yami on cheek. Yami turns bright red]

Kiely- O yea! Gimme 2 Yami's Specials & a double martini… and a bottle of wine…

Yami- ah… either really hard day or you and Set- I mean your guests are having a party later!

DG- [whispers to Yami] my guess is the party, but I think it's just her and- [WHAM!]*_* ooo… owww…

Kiely- heh heh, ignore the bakka brat!

Seto- [purposely changing subject] What's in Yami's special?

Kiely- O, you know, it's 50% green tea, 938% vodka… o, and Pixy Stixs!!! Lotsa Pixy Stixs… 

Ben- TEA?! You drink tea?! You must be British!!! EVIL!!!!! 

DG- Yea, and the Easter Bunny's my next door neighbor… actually, he is, see for yourself [grabs Kiely's remote and presses button. Screen pops up and Easter Bunny is seen in backyard of house next to DG's lounging by pool.] Told ya so!! The nun on the other side just gave him a shot… I think it was whiskey sour…

Wash- May I have whiskey?

Hammy- uhh… Mr. Pres Dude, no can do, 'member, my tax?!

Wash- o yes, now I recall... You also wanted to give the rich a steak…  Not a bad idea, I could use a nice juicy filet mignon right about now… 

Jeff- uhh… sir? The Brits hijacked the ship with the steaks on it… but I heard the sailors were impressed. 

Wash- Damn John Jay!!!

Kiely- Does anyone find it ironic that in Japanese "o-sama" means "o damn"?!

DG- Bin Laden!!! Where?! AHHH!!! RUN!!!! Ooo… I want a bottle of wine… hmmm… Italian Super Red!!! And then green tea with vodka!!!

Ryou- Maybe I could try a bit of…

Kiely- [getting drunker by the minute] Bring the kid a few beers!!! Sam Adams!!! 

DG- He's busy with an affair right now… something with letters and that Pink-Knee guy… Or was that his cousin?! Or his cousin's nephew's sister's aunt's uncle's brother twice removed…

Hammy- [downs 4 wine coolers and a shot of bourbon] Auntie Federalists forced the Bill of Rights… off a cliff I think… but we've reached a unanimanimus decision to plant tobaccy in Stankee Stadium… and buy more earl in Baw-ti-mowah. 

Seto- [also quite drunk] let's play a game…

[DG's friend Mira comes over with Twister]

Mira- Tequila! Margarita!!! Yami's Music Video!!! [Runs back over to party at her house]

[All playing Twister]

Wash- [to DG] you know, I'm not supposed to form entangling alliances… but for you I'll make an exception!

DG- Uhhh… [Not quite drunk enough] that's nice… Yami!!! More vodka!!! And a Special!!!

Kiely- [Puts on "My Love is Like Whoa" by Mya. On hockey table with Seto at this point] More Special!!!

Ryou- [drunk for the 1st time] ooo… pass the Mohawk… can't kick the kids so lets punt them!!! Choctaw chip cookie doe… 

DG- [jumps onto bar, pulls Ryou up, starts drunkenly dancing to Cotton Eye Joe {while Mya song is playing still)] WOO-HOO!!! Belgian Congo everyone!!!

Hammy- [singing] 1 billion bottles of -hic! -whiskey on the wall!!!-hic!-1 billion bottles-hic- o' whiskey!... take 3 down-hic!- [grabs 3 bottles] chug 'em all down-hic!- [chugs 3 bottles and passes out]

Wash - I'm Washingtons of laundry in icy water… oogy boogy… Michilimackinac… Anarchists Anonymous!!! Worship the porcelain god!!! 

Jeff- [dancing with bottle of wine] I know you I drank with you once upon a barge!!! A pirate's life is the life for me! Underneath it all! Tippy Canoe!!! 1 little 2 little 3 little Indians… Thomas McDonut!!!! Macon Bacon!!! Me likey Berlin-Milano cookies… frig-a teee!!!!

Ben- Tea!!!! More tea!!! election of 1796…Bon Jovi vs. the Beach Boys and Jeter won…used a Proc of Newt and won our in-the-pen-dance…I must review domestic foreign policy… Fort McHenry- would you like fries with that?! Yu-Gi go boom!!!

[Raggedy looking colonists pop up out of nowhere]

Wash- The missing settlers of Roanoke!!! They're found!!! All hail Kaiba!!! Napoleon Blownapart!!! More pepper!!! Mokuba has got it going on… he's all I want and I've waited for so long… Seto can't you see, you're just not the one for me… hoffbrinkle!!! Fund-a-mental… asylum!!!

Lewis and Clark- [pop up] Napoleon is here?! We made up a song we want him to hear!!! [Start singing A Whole New World] 

Sacajawea- [pops up behind Lewis and Clark] You get the line and I'll get the pole Lewis! You get the line and I'll get the pole Clark! O, you get the line and I'll get the pole, and we'll find Louisiana's fishing hole…

Lewis- [to Clark] You take the high road and I'll take the low road…

DG- Ah, shut the fuck up… that's my ultimate tomato…besides, Napoleon ain't here, he sent out crack troops… must find the French and Indian Dip… writ-a-man-damn-us!!! How many of you would come up to the front and pull your pants down? F.U.C.K- Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, Potassi-yum…

Jeff- [now delirious] Pearl Harbor is under attack!!! Bring in Roosevelt!!! Send that Kaibus and R You to Detention Campuses!!! Here we go round the Marbury Case!!! And a midnight judge is not a hooker… Math is your friend, so give it a big hug!!!

[Hour later- all passed out. Kiely and Seto lying on hockey table, DG and Ryou on bar, Ben, Washington, Jeff, and Hammy across the chairs and floor.]

[2 days later]

Kiely- uhh… guys? What happened Friday night?!

All- [look around at each other. Shrug]

DG, Jeff, Ryou- Uh-oh…

[All turn to stare at Kiely]

DG- you're not…???

Kiely- [looks at Kaiba] Uhh… 

Ryou- [Shifts uncomfortably in silence] well, look at the time, I must be off!!! 

Wash- Ah, yes, Your Words Exactly! Come along gents, there's work to be done!

DG- And we're out of time! Next week on Your Words Exactly- The morality of abortion!!! [Glares at Kiely]  Didn't you hear about the Non-intercourse act?!

Kiely- O_O the what?! Ugh, I can't believe you said that on worldwide TV… wait, but next week was supposed to be my party!!! 

DG- You're in enough trouble already (no pun intended) no more parties for you!!!... Until maybe tomorrow… c ya!!!

**This Episode of Your Words Exactly has been brought to you by the Damn John Jay Corporation:**

**_[51 singing states file on stage] John Jay-cob Jingle Heimer Schmidt! He messed up a treaty!!! And now what Britain wants is to hijack our cargo shorts! Cuz of John Jay-cob Jingle Heimer Schmidt! What a horrible job he did…_**

**And the Drunken Monkey Company of Brandyandwine. **

**_Want an instant city? Buy our mini city in a candy corn!!! Just add the alcoholic beverage of your choice and watch a city full of drunk, sugar-high freaks pop up before your eyes!!!!_**

[Kiely and Seto arguing in background]

Kiely- What about Joey?

Seto- We're NOT naming it Joey!!!... What about Marik?

Kiely- Forget the stupid god card!!! I'm not naming it after an ex!... [Mutters] but I'll admit he's got a nice rod… 

Seto- I want Ra, not a kid named Joey… O_O ex?! EX?!?!?! Would you like electrocution or the guillotine?!?! And what was that last part?! O_O

**STAY TUNED FOR A PART 2!!!! **

Credits:

Kiely- Host

DragonGurl1- Co-host

Seto Kaiba- Co-host

Special Guests:

Thomas Jefferson

Alexander Hamilton

Ryou Bakura

Ben Franklin

George Washington

People who suddenly popped up during Production:

Yami Yugi

Mira Nova 23

Sacajawea

Meriwether Lewis

Something Clark

Thanks to:

Mira Nova 23

My entire Honors US History class

The Founding Fathers

The Fountains of Wayne for making "Stacy's Mom"

Disney for creating Sleeping Beauty ("I know you I walked with you once upon a dream!!!!" yea, I was watching that the day b4 I wrote that…)

DreamWorks for Shrek

My hikari's friends for being sugar high moronic freaks who run around screaming about Snuggle bears and "Tippy Canoe!!!" and "More tea!!!"

My hikari for putting up w/ this

Willy Wonka for making flavored sugar in little stick shaped packaging (a.k.a. the pixy stick!!!)

Sugar, alcohol, and caffeine for being so useful

My "morality" class (more about that next eppy!)

Anyone else I forgot cuz I was drunkenly dancing around while writing this.

**Closing Remarks:**

Seto- Do you think if I asked Kiely to marry me she'd say yes???

Kiely- K, so some of this you may not get, it depends on how much US history you've had… but this was so much fun to make so I hope you enjoy it. Sorry to fellow Seto lovers, he's all mine!!!  But I promise next episode I'm cloning him so there's plenty to go around! Yay!!! 

DG- I can not be held responsible for my Yami's actions & therefore had no control over the making of this show.  Save your jelly beans. You never know when there will be a shortage… Did u notice that this eppy has a certain moral principle to it? I just did… Bottom line: don't get drunk!!! (o look, it really is the bottom line!!!)


	4. The Morality of Morality

Your Words Exactly!!!

I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or X-Men. No copying this story, I do happen to own it. Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, sorry it took so long for this episode, I've been so busy with school and learning Japanese and my new fanfic that I'm starting (it's gonna be featuring me and my friends playing the parts of Yu-Gi-oh characters locked in our high school… you'll see… it's really funny/sweet)… and I'd like to say I don't hate the British or any other country, nation, w/e I bashed in the last eppy, just in case anyone was offended… that's just what we talk about in History… anyway, I hope you enjoy this, see ya on the set! (Stay tuned after for a special message from DG) Episode 4- The So-Called Morality of Morality 

Kiely- Hello foolish mortals, welcome to the Mayflower!!! Yea, this week's eppy is on the actual Mayflower (at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean…). Anyway, we've got a big topic this week: morality. My hikari's got a new religion teacher who is very… umm… odd, and I'd love to talk about him. Where do I start?! O yea, guests. Seto, honey, why don't you announce the guests today? DG's not here yet and I'm feeling very tired…

Seto- [Shrugs] Why not… Marik!!!! 

Kiely- No, sweetie, no Marik today… just read the list I gave you earlier…

Seto- Must I?! Fine… Ishizu (hope she brings her brother…)… Storm… Who's Storm?!

Kiely- She's a very nice lady I'd like you to meet, don't ask questions right now…

Seto-[continues reading list]… Wheeler?! You invited the mutt?!?!?!

Kiely- O, did I? Hmmm… k, keep reading…

Seto- [frowning deeply] … Mai… Mystic??? What's a Mystic???

Kiely- It's Mystique, not Mystic… and she may be able to help with today's topic, ok?

Seto- ok… something called a Morph [little pink blob from Treasure Planet]… and then the last person is… Rebecca?! You invited a little girl to talk about abortion?!?! I'm starting to think I shouldn't be here… 

Kiely- You are going to stay here and you are going to like it! …Do it for me? [Puppy-dog pout]

Seto- [deep sigh] … Let's get this over with, the less air I have to spend with Wheeler, the better… before he comes…[gets down on one knee, holds Kiely's hands in his] Kiely… there's something I wanna ask you…

[Door opens; DG and guests file in and take their seats]

Joey- Hey, Kiely, we're heah! [Sees Seto] Whaaa?! Hey, what's he doin' heah?! And why's he on the floor? Ah, that's right, bow t' ya superiah!!!

Mai- You idiot, can't you see, you ruined a perfectly good moment, he was about to propose!!!

Ishizu- That's odd, my necklace didn't tell me that…

Rebecca- O yea, well Teddy told me!!! [Acts like the bear is telling her something] What's that Teddy? You think that using a piece of jewelry to tell the future is stupid? Me too… 

Seto- umm… o-k… [Gets up off floor, turns to Kiely] We'll talk later. [Sits back in his seat and silently scowls] Dumb mutt…

Morph- [little pink blob transforms into a mini Seto, flops down on invisible chair with a little scowl on its face.] Dumb mutt…

Mystique- I can do that better!!! [Transforms into a full sized Seto, flops down onto chair with scowl] Dumb mutt…

Mai, Ishizu, Rebecca- [hold up number cards- 9.9, 8.6. 9.7 respectively]

Storm- Excuse me for interrupting but I'm scheduled to bring a thunderstorm to that area with a bad drought in an hour, so could we get started?

Kiely- Yes, of course… this week's topic is morality and abortion… 

Rebecca- Teddy wants to know what an abortion is…

Kiely- ummm… ask Mai later… for now, I'll just say it's a big evil issue that my evil hikari is forcing me to consider… all because she doesn't want to be an aunt… [Glares at DG]

Rebecca- O_O Teddy says he's sorry he asked and doesn't want to know more!!!

DG- [wincing from intensity of glare] Yup, that's Kaiba's kid alright…

Rebecca- huh?! They're having a baby?!

Mai, Ishizu- Awww!!! How sweet!!!

Storm- Did you pick a name yet?!

Ishizu- Girl or boy?!

Mai- ooo, now we can shop for little baby clothes, and little baby shoes, and little baby toys!!!... I know the perfect place!!!

Mystique- [says nothing but stares sadly out the window]

Seto- [says nothing but pales as he thinks of shopping for baby stuff with a bunch of "crazy" women…]

DG- [clears throat] Let's get on with our discussion on ABORTION… [Receives glares so maliciously intense that she cowers in fear] ooo, look at the time! I'll go the...umm…the glue! Be right back!!! [Runs out of room, not seen again for 3 hours]

Mai- So, Seto, how do you feel about having a daughter of your own?

Ishizu- Yea, Seto, you'll get to feed her, and dress her, and play with her everyday… Oh! Me and Mai and the other girls could come over and help sometimes!!! Won't that be great?!

Seto- [glares at the 2 girls; mutters] yea, perfect… [Mind fills with images of his perfect mansion filled with… _dolls and frilly lacy crap… shudders in disgust]_

Kiely- ^^ this is so great!!!

Seto- [thinking] _Ishizu must die!!! _[Says] Ishizu, I demand a re-duel now!

Ishizu- For what?! … Fine… But I know I'll win… let's set the steaks higher… 

Kiely- The steaks?!

Mira- [pops up] BLOODY LONDON BROILED!!!! [One click from Kiely and bye-bye Mira!] 

Ishizu- Swords! Now!!! 

Seto- I'm not gonna hold back on you this time just because your a woman. I'm gonna pretend you're a man... A very beautiful man... Who I'd like to take to the movies... Oh, yeah- _Egyptian_ style!

Ishizu- [grabs the sword and starts going crazy] 

Seto- Mm... You smell good- OW!

Ishizu- [finally 'stabs' him, but the sword won't go through]

Ben- [pops up] Let's compromise!!!

Seto- [exasperatedly] Oh, thank you Benjamin... [To Ishizu] We coulda been a good couple; we coulda had a Yami's Special! But your one crazy ass bitch!!!

Kiely- [Click! Bye-bye Benjamin!] SETO KAIBA!! TAKE ONE STEP NEAR HER AND WE'RE THROUGH!!! 

Seto- Umm… Sorry? I love you!

Kiely- [grabs his arm, and hugs it] I love you too… Let's run away to Cuba!

Joey- Alright! Cuba!!!

Rebecca- [holding Morph as if it were an ice cream cone] This little gooey thing is weird… but it tastes good!!!

Mai- …I don't think that's food, Becky… think of it as a Revival Jam…

Rebecca- O_O…ewww… 

[DG runs in screaming.] 

DG- MY DOLL!!! MY DOLL!!! MY DOLL HAS ARRIVED!!!! 

Rebecca- OOO!!! A dolly!!!!! Can I play with it????

DG- It's Duel With Me Yami!!! And no! He's all mine!!!

Kiely- [Looks at doll] You've gotta be joking... [Grabs doll and pushes button on back]  
Yami doll- "Grab your D_cks!!!"  
Kiely- O_O what'd he say?!?!?  
DG- He said grab your... ooo O_O... whoa... maybe he'll say something better... [Pushes button]  
Yami doll- "I trust my d_ck and I trust my skills!"  
DG- O_O That's nice; now make me a Special so I can forget what u just said...  
Seto- [glares at the doll. doll melts]   
DG- O_O when'd u get laser vision?! DON'T LOOK AT ME!!! AHHHH!!!! [Runs and hides in closet]  
Kiely- Now I see why her Pikachu tried to commit suicide...

Everyone else- Huh?!

Kiely- O, nothing… anyway, back to our topic. So, as you know we've decided to talk about morality… or really, a freaky teacher of DG's. 

DG- [comes back out of closet] he's so scary… he has these 2 stuffed animal thingies Busy Bee and Bookworm and whenever we're not paying attention he comes around and shoves them in our faces going "Are you working?! Busy Bee says get to work! Come on, Bookworm says to keep reading!!!" 

Storm- I'm rather disturbed…

DG- yea, well he also asked if we prefer boxers or briefs and if being a "gangsta" is cooler than being a "gangster"… o, and then there was that time when he tried to rap and kept saying "Yo yo yo kill your father kill your mother, yo yo yo!" o, and then he told us about the crack factory in his basement…and how he and his son go down there to smoke pot…

Joey- [mutters to himself] I gotta find that basement… 

Mai- What was that you said Joey?

Joey- Whaa?! I said I think my metal case is bent… yea, my glasses case…

Mystique- But you don't wear glasses…

Ishizu- Joey is going to say "How would you know?" and Mai is going to say "Because I told her and I know because I know you and because I love you Joey!!!"

All - O_O 

Mai- …and I was not supposed to blurt that out... wait, I didn't…that wasn't me… huh?! Argh! Ishizu!!!

DG- Aww!!! How sweet!!! She loves you Joey!!! Such a shame I have to mention that he told us how he sells crack and somewhat how to make it… o, and where to get a good deal… 

Kiely- And this is coming from a morality teacher?! You know what, let's change the subject… I think those other kids in your class are very bad influences… on both your teacher _and_ you! So, Mystique, tell us how you managed to avoid abortion.

Mystique- O, it was easy. After my son Kurt was born I kinda "accidentally" dropped him off a bridge and into a river… he survived of course and a nice little family adopted him. I see him everyday now so I know he is healthy and happy…  

Kiely- O-K then… ummm… anyone up for volley ball?!

Storm- That would be nice, but unfortunately I must leave now. It was nice meeting with you. Mystique, Kurt's waiting outside, he'd like to talk. [Flies out open window]

Mystique- O_O uh oh… [Transforms into bird and follows Storm out window]

Kiely- O-K! Time to get this party started!!! Bye-bye little Rebecca!!! [Pulls out remote, zaps Rebecca to a daycare center on Pluto. Aliens on Pluto attempt to eat the bear but spit it out when they realize it's been drooled on by Rebecca in her sleep.] Hmm... And while I'm at it, bye-bye Isuzu!!! [Click! Ishizu is sent flying out window and lands somewhere in Europe on a flying car containing two teen-aged boys and an owl. A boy with a scar on his forehead whips out a long "stick" and mutters some strange incantation. Ishizu is sent to Pluto with Rebecca.]

Joey- Man, that was so cool!!! How'd ya do that?!

Kiely- ^^ it's a gift… no really, it's a gift. From Pokey! He's so nice ya know…

DG- hey, u guys wanna practice Japanese now??? 

Kiely- yea, why not… I'll put subtitles on for the viewers… 

DG- Watashi ryu. nani suru anata omou? [I [am] dragon. what do you think?]

Joey- Suru anata shitteru "fang" onaji "Kiba"? [Do you know "fang" equals "Kiba"?]

Kiely- Anata matteku no baka!!! Iu sore "kee-ba" nai "Kaiba"!!! [You damned person!!! Say It "kee-ba" not "Kaiba"!!!

DG- O miru ano akui ni michiteru maton... [Look at the malicious mutton...]

Kiely - O_O... nani-isuka... Seto anata sekusi nihonjin, watashi no koibitio, watashi anata no aijin!!! [O_O what-ever... Seto you sexy temptation, my lover, I am your mistress!!!]

DG, Joey- O_O nani ano jigoku?!?!?! [O_O what the hell?!?!]

Kiely- o, suru anata nai shitteru watashi ukeireru kare no kekkon-moshikomi? Watashi aiseru sore sekusi shisai!!! [o, did you not know i accept his marriage proposal? i love that sexy priest!!!]

Joey- Shisai genjitsu niwa kin'yoku... [Priests practice celibacy...]

Kiely- Nai watashi no Seto! [Not my Seto!]

DG- Kanojo sore hodo ni mo baishunfu...Watashi ano chizu! Watashi ano chizu!!! Soshite doshite suru "wakaru" imi suru "to comprehend"??? [She's such a whore... I the map! I the map!!! And why does "make out" mean "to comprehend"???]

Joey- Anata nioi ga suru yo ni wakibara no furessu zo-mimizu!!! [You smell like flank of fresh elephant-worm!!!]

Kiely- O_O uh-huh, nani-iskua... shoshinsha... [O_O uh-huh... beginner...]

Mai- huh?! 

Seto- O_O … I must make an urgent phone call… [Stands up to leave, taps KC on his jacket] Mokuba! Mokie!!! Come in!!! HELP!!!

Kiely- O_O… SETO KAIBA!!! SIT!!! NOW!!! 

Seto- [glares, sits down] fine… but I'm not sitting near the mutt anymore… he might give me fleas….

Kiely- ^^ yay! ... I love you…

DG- O-k, lovely, but shut the fuck up!!! SUGAR RUSH!!!…Spinney!!! Spinney!!! We love each other!!! And that conversation was super immoral... Yay!!!

Seto- No one cares… Are we going to do anything worthwhile? I have more important things to do than share my air with that stupid mutt… 

Kiely- OOO!!! Let's have a poetry hour!! Seto, you go first…

Seto- O, if I must… I have several poems I'd like to present… the first is called "Everything Gold is Mine to Stay". [Clears throat]. Nature's first green is gold/ But it's also all mine!!!/ Her hardest hue to hold/ But she must let go cuz it's mine!!!/ I don't care about flowers/ Cuz all rare cards must be mine!!!/ For a lifetime of hours/ Who cares about leaves/ Unless it's gold leaf paint on Ra…/ Eden is where the god cards are/ So Eden can't grieve cuz it's mine!!!/ Everything gold is mine!!!

Kiely- [wipes a tear from her eye] That…was…so… beautiful… I could see the golden Ra card sparkling… [Bursts out crying]

DG- … it sucked… [Dodges glare from Seto] ouch… [To Kiely] o great, you're getting me wet… my turn!!! [Starts singing to tune of Itsy Bitsy Spider] In 1898, we went to war with Spain! We sent the Spanish crying! We gave them mucho pain!  The US put itself in solitary confinement and we'll go on a cruise to take over Kokomo! Next Verse!!! There's a pig at the door and a basket full of bread! They grow cotton in Kokomo that's what my teacher said! Hi pot and a noose and we'll have a caucus race! My teacher really bored me so I kicked her in the face! My Chem teacher tried to kill us "inhale don't exhale!" John Crapper invented the toilet and sent one in the mail! I started a shortage when I chopped down a tree! 'Scuse me for talking while you're interrupting me!!!

Kiely- o-k… my turn!!! Whose pig is this who walked in class while Mr. Shepard was teeee-ching!!! It came today for a third time, for the lectern Shepard was reaching!!! He would've killed that little pig but it was only a to-oo-oy!!! Then again this is the guy who inhaled pesticide as a boy... go figure... the second time it brought a note said "Kiss me i am I-rish!" something tells me that little pig is soon to be a lunch dish! We started talking bout gravy and sauce, perhaps to put on the little toy pig... then Mr. Shepard he started to sing and was dancing around in an odd little jig... The first time we saw the little pink pig it was oinking much like a fro-oo-og!!! I think if Shepard had gotten his way he'd have squashed it with a log!!! He sent back a note bout Jacobi-an-Shep but no one seems to get it... I hope tomorrow that the pig comes back so for all work we can forget it!!! 

Joey- …Pork!! Mmm… that poem made me hungry, can I have a ham? Yea, wit some bacon!!!

Kiely- [irritated sigh, clicks remote, bacon and ham appear in front of Joey] Yea, well now it's your turn!

Joey- [swallows ham and bacon in less than a second] right… my turn… I'm going to kill the country! I'm going to end the world! Cuz I can't find the bacon! I'll eat it til I hurl! I'm off to find a river! A river made of milk! And then I'll get some cookies! Cookies of chocolate silk! I'll shove those cookies down my throat so fast you'll never see! And then you'll begin to wonder why I have been named Joey! My name is not the Glutton! My name is not the Hog! But if I get hungry e-nough I might just eat a log! 

Mai- yup, that's Joey alright… My turn!!! His deep brown eyes stare back at me; I see a heart of gold. His attitude is kinda shy yet also very bold. He risked his life to save me, a very noble deed. It's him I just can't live without; it's him that I do need.  I hate that I forgot him for just that little while. It felt like an eternity without his goofy smile. … And I don't know how to end it, that's all I got so far…

Kiely- That was so sweet!!! ^^ and of course we all know who you're talking about so it's super sweet!

DG- yea, like sugar… by the way, I'd like some right now… [Looks hopefully at Kiely who ignores her]

Kiely- Seto, you said you had another poem, would you care to go now? 

Seto- N-

Kiely- [sweetly] let me rephrase that…[angrily] GO NOW!!!

Seto- [looks melancholy for a moment but decides to speak anyway] Fine… but it won't be a poem… Hold on a moment… YAMI!!! 

Yami Yugi-[pops up in his bartender uniform] Yes Kaiba?

Seto- Champagne for everyone please… o and an apple juice for the mutt…

Yami- [goes to mini-bar, pours champagne for everyone (and an apple juice! Can't trust a drunken Joey these days…) and hands them out]

Kiely- Champagne? What's the occasion, Seto?

Seto- just a minute honey… [Pulls a small black box out of his coat pocket… gets down on one knee… quickly glances at Joey who is wondering why his apple juice is fizzing.... Seto looks up into Kiely's eyes] Kiely… do you… will you… 

DG- SPIT IT OUT ALREADY, MY CHAMPAGNE'S GETTING WARM!!! [Cowers again… so many glares!!!]

Seto- Kiely… will you… will you… will you have a sugar cube? [Opens box to reveal a single sugar cube]

Kiely- OOO!!! Seto, I'd love to!!! I thought you'd never ask!!! [Throws her arms around his neck]

Mai, DG, Joey- O_O huh?! 

Kiely- ^^ ooo, I'm soooo happy!!!!! ^^ 

Seto- o yea and one more thing… Marry me!!!

Kiely- Yea, sure, why not… but I can't believe you gave me a sugar cube!!! It must've cost you a fortune!!!

Mai, DG, Joey- oy-vay… -_-" ooo…. 

Kiely- maybe we should end the show early to celebrate… 

DG- YAY!!! SUGAR FOR EVERYONE!!! 

Stereo- [blasting as Kiely sings along] IT'S MY PARTY SO GET FLY IF YOU WANT TO! GET HIGH IF YOU WANT TO CUZ I KNOW YOU WANT TO!!!!

Kiely- [yelling over the music] See ya people!!! Next eppy's gonna be a big party maybe so feel free to come!!!!

DG- Yea, all my friends and their yamis are coming over for a Christmas/Hanukah party with the YuGiOh Cast!!! 

Kiely- ROLL CREDITS!!!

Credits:

Cast-

Kiely Nikko (soon to be a Kaiba!!!)

Seto Kaiba

DragonGirl1

Ishizu Ishtar

Ororo Munroe (a.k.a. Storm)

Raven Darkholme (a.k.a. Mystique)

Mai Valentine

Joey Wheeler

Morph (little shape-shifting pink blob from Disney's Treasure Planet)

Rebecca Hawkins (not to be confused with Morph's friend Jim Hawkins)

Special thanks to: Mr. Shepard my Honors US History Teacher, my hikari's religion teacher who shall remain unnamed for fear that he will find out about this and double the 4 page book report due next week, Mira Nova 23 (who by the way happens to be my hikari's best friend if you didn't know… you should read her stories, they're really good!!!) who helped with a lot of the episodes, our homeroom teacher who probably owned the little electronic pig that kept coming into our history class… don't ask…, the art director and our skool cuz she left drama practice to buy glue but she never came back… o, and the guys that sit near me and Mira in History for not freaking out when they found this lying on the floor cuz I was trying to hide it when Shep came around to check the homework, and the people who made Rush Hour 2 (great movie!!!), J.K. Rowling for creating Harry Potter (yea, he's the teen in the car!!!), and anyone else I forgot cuz I keep shocking myself so I stay awake… PLEASE REVIEW!!! O, and by the way, I can't pick a name for their daughter so I thought maybe you could give suggestions if you want. Thanks. 

DG- Hey, wait!!! There's more!!! Mira and I taped this last night using the security system!!! [Grabs Kiely's remote. Click! Screen pulls down]

On screen:_ Dg is sneaking into Seto's bedroom in the wing of Kiely's Palace where he is staying for the weekend. He's actually asleep (very rare for him cuz he's normally always working). Click! Instantly the gigantic bed is covered with at least 50 Seto clones. Click! All clones disappear. Click! Click! DG repeats process several times before one of the Seto clones accidentally kicks the original. _

_Seto- [wakes up immediately] GET OUT!!!!_

_Kiely- [runs down the hall to Seto's room.] What are you doing in here with MY remote?! LEAVE MY SETO CLONE ALONE!!! _

_DG- Clone?! But where's the real Seto then???_

_Seto- [groggily staggers out of Kiely's bedroom dressed only in blue boxers with little Blue Eyes White Dragons on them.] What's going on? [Glares at DG] You better not have messed anything up in there… _

_DG- O_O Kie, what is he doing in your bedroom?! In only his underwear?!?!_

_Kiely- I uhh… had a bad dream and he heard me screaming so he came in to… umm…tell me to shut up! _

_DG- uh huh, right… [Mutters] and I'll bet the way he told you was by covering your mouth with his! _

_Kiely- What was that?!_

_DG- O:-) [Innocently] nothing… But that doesn't explain the clone in his bedroom… _

_Kiely- O… It's uhhh… new security! But obviously it's still got some bugs to work out! ^_^ Ask more, I dare you… and then we can discuss why you were in Seto's room in the first place!!!_

_DG- umm… G'night! [Runs to the elevator, goes to her floor]_

_Kiely & Seto- Good night! [Look at each other]_

_Kiely- That was too close… She almost caught us… I gotta get a really good lock for her door…_

_Seto- Yes, that was close… But she's gone now… [Mischievous glint in his eyes] Shall we continue?_

_Kiely- [smiles] Yea let's go! _

_[Both run back into her room and leap onto the bed. After a little while- hear Kiely exclaim]_

_Kiely- Seto, you're so good!!!_

_Seto- It took a lot of practice to do it the way I do. I'm on top this time?_

_Kiely- Yea… This is so much fun! I'm going too fast for you aren't I? _

_[Camera shows Mira in Main Security Room listening to conversation]_

_Mira- ewww… I'm not listening to this! [Runs out of room and up to DG's floor, and calls all their friends. PARTY!!!]_

[Movie ends]

DG- O_O… whoa… were you…?! Never mind, I don't wanna know…

Kiely- You missed the rest!!! We were not… well, not last night… O_O Just watch this. [Grabs remote back. Click!]

[Everyone stares at screen]

_Kiely- I just won again!!! I am now the official champ of Need for Speed 2!!! Alright!!!!_

_Seto- -_- Lucky win! Race Again! You're sure to lose!_

[Movie ends]

DG- ooo… Hey, you beat my score!!! That's impossible!!!

Kiely- ^^ for some maybe but not for me!

Seto- Whatever… I'm going to bed… [Glares at DG] Tape me or my clones and I'll personally throw you off my blimp!!! 

DG- O_O that's nice but I'm going out tonight, I won't be back til next Monday, and I'm staying at… a friend's house! Bye! [Runs out door]

Kiely- Baishunfu!

DG- [calls from outside] I HEARD THAT!!!


	5. A Very YuGi Christmas

**YOUR WORDS EXACTLY HOLIDAY SPECIAL!**

I still don't own YuGiOh so don't sue me. Thanks for reviewing, and I don't mind flames cuz I save them for Tea barbecues… which by the way I'm hoping to have for the Fourth of July party… anyway, here's the show. O yea, and although I killed Tea in the very first episode, I hate her so much I brought her back for endless torture!!! … (Names have been changed cuz if DG's friends found out they'd probably kill us both… Especially since I don't own them although sometimes I think I act like I do…) o, and ignore some comments bout the French and the British, my history class is very nationalistic… VERY nationalistic… and then again we kinda still like our state better than all the others too… GO NJ!!! COME ON DEVILS!!! SMASH THEM INTO THE ICE!!! Heh heh… just keep reading! Don't forget to review!!!****

**Episode 5- A Very Yu-Gi Christmas **

Kiely- Hey, we're back again for another episode of Your Words Exactly, but this one's different. We're having a big Christmas/Hanukah party and-

DG- PARTY!!! YAY!!! And all my friends are here!!! Well, 2 of them really…

Kiely- Yea, unfortunately I got kinda drunk last night and let her invite her freakish friends… I'll introduce all guests right now. The entire YuGiOh gang is here: Yugi (Yami couldn't make it tonight), Joey, Tristan, Duke, Mai, Serenity, Tea, and Bakura (as in Yami Bakura)… 

Seto- You just had to invite them all didn't you!!! [Glares at gang]

Kiely- ... trust me, considering who's coming up on this list, they're nothing… anyway, Mokuba…

Seto- WHAT?! YOU INVITED MY YOUNGER BROTHER?!?!? HE'S JUST A KID!!!!

Kiely- [Fingers crossed behind her back] Calm down; I already changed the rating to R!!!

Seto- [Calms down] O ok then. 

Kiely- And then there are DG'S friends and their Yamis: Mira and her yami Diablo, and Tony and his yami NightShadow.

Seto- [purposely standing right under mistletoe] Kiely, it's almost Christmas... 

Kiely- [really sexy voice] Mmm… Seto, you wanna know what I love about Christmas... [Begins slowly sauntering towards him] Baking cookies... [Gets closer] the snow... [really close now] sleigh rides...But you wanna know my absolute favorite? [Leans up against him, her arms around his waist] I just_ love _Mistletoe... [Kisses him... very long, very very passionate...]

DG- ugh, get a room... O_O wait, don't, there's Mei Rei to think of!!! My niece does not want to be squished!!!  [Watches them for a moment...] Hey, can i take over the show???

Kiely- [makes kind of "uh-huh" noise and continues w/ Seto] (a/n: I just needed a reason to let DG take over the show!!! … I feel sick though…)

DG- [makes a disgusted face] w/e... good enough answer for me! K, so guys, who wants to open presents!!!

Everyone (umm... cept Kiely and Seto... they're still at it...) - YEA!!! ALRIGHT!!!

Joey- Hey, Mai, open mine first! I got ya somethin' really special!

Mai- [opens box] Oh, Joey! A Promise ring!!!

Joey- Yea, to show dat I'll always be there for ya!

DG- Aww, how sweet… DON'T DO IT AGAIN!!! Why the hell is everyone all mushy today?!

Diablo- Cuz I said so!!! 

DG- O must've missed the memo… 

Mira- You miss a lot of memos… like that one from last week when we found out that Mr. Rogers was not at the Alamo and we were supposed to tell Pegasus that he couldn't wear his red silk pj's anymore…

DG- Hey, let's have some Coolattas while we open our presents… COOLATTAS FOR EVERYONE!!! [Hands out drinks]

Mira- Yay! [Chugs down her drink] OWW!!! I got burned by my Coolatta!!! I'M SUING!!!! 

DG- That's nice… o, look, little specks are falling from the sky!!! We're going home early!!! O wait, we're sleeping over… damn…

[20 Minutes later- everyone opened their presents. Floor is covered with wrapping paper and boxes.]

Yugi- Well, that was boring… I WANNA BAKE COOKIES!!!

Diablo- No, let's go on a sleigh ride!!! 

Serenity- Yea, sleigh ride!!!

NightShadow- No! Snowball Fight!!!! 

Mokuba- Yea, I wanna have a snowball fight!!!

Tea- The holiday season is not about cookies and presents and sleigh rides and snowball fights guys! It's about Friendship and Love!!!

DG- …All in favor of tying Tea to a pole and throwing snowballs at her say "KILL TEA"!!!!

Everyone (except Kiely, Seto, and Tea) - KILL TEA!!! [Rush to Tea, tie her up, gag her, and carry her outside over their heads like some odd primitive tribe while chanting "OOH HA HA HA!!! OOH HA HA HA!!!"]

 [Tea is tied to a stake on a platform while everyone stands below staring up at her.]

DG, - [Climbs up onto platform] you Tea have been charged of being obsessed with friendship and love! How do you plead?!

Tea- mmm-hmhm-mm!

DG- huh?! … O well, I'll just have to guess then! … Tea has pleaded guilty!!! THE EVIL BITCH MUST BE PUT TO DEATH!!! Let the sentence commence!!! [Jumps off platform]

Tea- O_O Hhm-mm-hmm-umm-hmm!!! 

Tristan- BE SILENT EVIL ONE!!! YOU HAVE BEEN JUDGED GUILTY!!!

Everyone- KILL TEA!!! [Begin throwing snowballs and ice at her until she's unconscious and looks like a snowman]… now what? [Turn to DG]

DG- O_O Don't look at me!!! Mira, Tony, what do you think we should do next?!

Tony- … we need more sugar!!!

Mira- Yea, more sugar!!! And drinks!!!

DG- k... Let's see… cookies, green tea, Pixie Stix… damn, Yami's not here to make his special! Ooo… :-( 

Serenity- Is it alcoholic? I don't much like alcoholic drinks… 

Joey- Yea, me neitha… 

DG- …Aw, come on, it's only 983% vodka! (A/N: yes, she said nine hundred thirty-eight percent!!!) That's not that much… right guys?

Mira, Diablo, Tony, NightShadow- Nah, barely anything!

Duke- Hey, Serenity, you don't have to drink if you don't want to…

Tristan- Yea… why don't we go inside and sit by the fire with hot cocoa?

Duke- Yea Serenity, let's go!

Joey- WOULD YOU TWO JUST LEAVE SERENITY ALONE, SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO!!!

Serenity- Yes I do Joey!!!

Mokuba- Don't worry Joey, I'll go too to make sure nothing happens. [Runs off with Tristan, Duke, and Serenity]

Joey- Thanks Moke dat rhymes wit coke. [Mutters] _By the way must get some more…So, where were we?_

DG- umm… I forgot… Hey, who wants to throw Tea off the ship?! We have to according to the gag rule (a/n: in History it's some rule from the 1800's that politicians can't talk about slavery and stuff). It specifically says "All idiots and bakas who wanna blab on and on about friendship must be bound and gagged and thrown off a ship into shark invested water". That means Tea!!!

Mira- Yea!!! Throw the Tea off the ship… but don't touch the tea!!!

Tony- O_O [mutters] weird girls… [Says] We're not on a ship you idiots!!! [Blinks] Hey, we're on the Titanic… 2?!

DG- Yea, apparently there's a Titanic 2…turns out Jack had a son who became a US President … 

Joey- So he's Japanese?

Mira- No, he's Irish!

DG- No, he's French!

Tony- But they said the French are assholes!

Mai- That's why he's British!

Diablo- But they said that the British are evil! I don't like the British! They read minds… O(_O  O_)O good, I don't see any… 

Bakura- Hello!

Diablo- AHH!!! When'd he get here?! 

Bakura- BLOODY LONDON BROILED!!!

Mira- Hey, that's my line!!!

Diablo- Yup, the British read minds alright…

NightShadow- That's why he's American.

DG, Mira, Tony, Joey, Mai- Ooooo… 

Joey- …So he's Japanese?

DG, Mira, Tony, Mai, NightShadow- -_-" oy…

Mai- What were we talking about???

DG- O yea, throwing Tea off the Titanic 2…

Mira- Wait… no matter how many times you watch "Titanic" the ship will always sink… 

All- O_O ABANDON SHIP!!!! [Jump off ship only to land on hard packed snow. They had never left Kiely's backyard.]

All- Oww… What the… MARIK!!!

Marik- [pops up with evil laugh] April Fools!!! Ah-ha-ha-ha! I got you guys so good!!!

Joey- Man, he got us!

Mai- Uh, Joey, Marik, it's the end of December… April is months away!

Marik- …o… right… bye! [Runs off into the woods singing "Here comes Peter Cottontail! Hopping down the bunny trail!"]

NightShadow- Hey! Let's blow up Tea with a nuclear warhead!

DG- O!!! Kiely has some in the basement, I'll be right back! [Runs off to basement, grabs nuclear warhead, ships back out to backyard] Here it is! Ready…Aim…Fire!!! O_O oops, I accidentally hit her giant 12 foot stone fence… 

All- O_O uh oh… 

Kiely, Seto- [run outside] WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?!?! 

DG- O_O umm [hides remains of nuclear warhead behind her back] O:-) nothing… c'mon guys, let's go play darts inside!!! [Yanks Tea off the stake and everyone drags her into the house and into the rec room. Kiely and Seto are left alone outside]

Kiely, Seto- [shrug] bakas… 

Mai- That was close…

Joey- Yea, though it's weird she neva noticed the huge hole in the wall!

Kiely- [now in rec room] Who never noticed what hole?

Mai- O, just a movie we saw last year, I forgot what it's called… 

NightShadow- [singing] The ants go marching 1 by 1 hurrah! Hurrah! The ants go marching 2 by 4! [Slams board into Tony's head] Hurrah! Hurrah!

Mira- Wish I'd thought of that…

DG- Yea looks like fun… Let's play darts!!! [She and Mira tie Tea to giant dart board] Who's up first?!

Bakura- OOO!!! SHARP POINTY OBJECTS!!!! ME!!! ME!!!

Mira- kk… [Hands darts to Bakura] OW! [Everyone gets hit by darts as Bakura wildly throws them all over the room]

Seto- Whose idea was it to let the maniac lose with darts?! WHO EVER IT IS WILL BE FIRED!!!

Kiely- No one here works for you…

Seto- O yea… what time is it?

DG- 5 freakin' 50.

Mira- 5 freakin' 50? 5 freakin' 50?!?! We're late!!! We were supposed to kill Tea at 5 freakin' 49!!! Hurry, kill her now!!

Everyone- OK! [Grab darts, all throw them at Tea. All miss.] Damn! 

DG- Onward to the wagon train! I sent Ryou Bakura out to buy wagons and stuff. We shall run her over!!! [All run out front door. Oxen and supplies are waiting outside. Ryou is counting everything.]

Mira- K, so here's the plan, we tie up Tea and put her on the Oregon Trail then we get in our wagons and migrate over to Oregon using the Oregon Trail…

Ryou- umm… What wagons?!

DG- The most important thing to bring on a wagon train is…?

Ryou- Food?

Mira- YOU BAKA!!! THE WAGON!!!

Ryou- Darn I forgot the wagon…

Everyone- Damn!

Joey- Can't we just take the subway like everyone else???

Mira- Joey, though you may speak like you're from Brooklyn… 

Joey- Wha's Brooklyn??? Why don' ya speak English?!

Mira- -_- nevermind…

DG- So, we need a new way to kill Tea… Any suggestions???

Tony- We could put her on a destroyer and sink it!

DG- But all I've got is this little pistol!!!

Mira- How the hell do you sink a destroyer with a pistol?!

NightShadow- …Lucky shot?

DG- O, I know! We can poke her to death!

Everyone else- huh?! 

DG- umm… nevermind… ooo, let's send her to Little Christmas Island! 

Kiely- Where the hell is Little Christmas Island?!

Mira- Is that in the little North Pole with the little Santa and the little Christmas tree???

DG- Maybe… I'm not quite sure… all I know is it's not here!

All- Good enough for us!

Tony- yea, only how do we get her there? 

Diablo- Well, boat is fastest…DG's dad has a boat…

[Screaming heard inside from outside]

DG's Dad- STOP PUTTING HOLES IN MY BOAT!!!

Marik- [maniac laugh] Trick or Treat!!! [runs off into the woods again]

DG's Dad- MARIK!!!

[Inside]

DG- What was that about my dad's boat?!

Diablo- Nevermind… you know what, let's leave her outside for the rest of the party so we can think up ways to kill her…

Mira- Good idea, let's go! 

NightShadow- So, who's up for sneaking into the rehearsal for Yami's Music Video?!

Mira, Diablo- HEY!!! THAT'S OURS!!!

NightShadow- Oops… heh heh… RUN!!! [Runs out of room screaming "DON'T HURT ME!!!"]

DG- Well, that was interesting… Anyone wanna play roulette?!

Joey- Nah, we played that last week… how about we take turns driving Seto's blimp?

Seto- Absolutely not!!! [Glares at Joey]

DG- Hey, where'd Yugi go?!

Everyone- He's missing?!?!

Mira- Yea, he is gone… wonder when he left, no one even noticed…

DG- [shrugs] Whatever, let's party!!!

Everyone- ALRIGHT!!! YAY!!! [Start dancing to CD DG puts in]

Serenity, Tristan, Duke, Mokuba- [run down to Rec Room covered in whipped cream and chocolate syrup giggly wildly]

Everyone else- O_O what the…?!?!!

Serenity- O, nothing… [Giggle]

Mokuba- You might wanna have the kitchen cleaned up a bit Kiely… [Giggle]

Kiely- WHAT?!?! 

Duke- O, nothing… [Giggle]

Tristan- The kitchen's fine… [Giggle]

Everyone else- O_O Not even gonna ask… [Go back to dancing. New song comes on- "Mokuba" By Mountains of Pain] _Mokuba has got it going on!_

Mokuba- Hey!!! They're singing about me!!!

Kiely- Nah, that's my cousin Mokuba. He's 18 and really hot but I can't marry him… so sad… 

Everyone else- O_O umm…whatever [Continue dancing]

Joey- Hey, let's play dreidel!!! [starts singing] Dreidel, dreidel, driedel! I made it out of clay! [Seto slams a brick into the back of Joey's head] Ow… [Joey faints]

Seto- That was quite enough of that… 

DG- Yea… So, who wants to go upstairs and sip hot cocoa by the fire?!

Mira- Hey, Seto, you can sit by me! [Cuddles his arm]

Kiely- O_O WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?! GET YOUR ARM OFF MY FIANCÉ!!! MY SETO!!! [Pulls Seto's arm away from Mira]

Mira- MINE!!! [Pulls Seto's arm back so that he's now in a tug of war]

Seto- AHHH!!! LET GO OR YOU'RE BOTH FIRED!!!

DG- Ooo, on second thought, who wants to stay here and watch Kiely and Mira fight over Seto?!

Everyone else- Yeah, alright! Pull her hair!!! Come on girls!!! Get him for yourself!!!

DG- [mutters] That'll take forever, maybe I should just… [Sneaks away into her room upstairs with Diablo, Tony, and Bakura to play Kingdom Hearts and come back 3 hours later] 

[3 hours later]

Seto- OOWWW!!! [Rips apart.]

All- [GASP!] What?!?!?

DG- It's only a Seto costume?!?! O_O MARIK!!!!

Marik- eee-hee-hee!!! [Starts crazily singing as he runs out of the house and across the street nearly getting hit by at least 4 cars and 2 trucks] Asante sana squash banana we we nugu mi mi apana!!! 

All- O_O umm… o-k then…

Kiely- This is getting kinda scary, you guys wanna end the party early?!

All- HELL NO!!! PARTY!!! ALRIGHT!!!! YEA!!! [Burst out laughing]

DG- umm, guys?! WHERE THE HELL IS TEA?!?!?

Kiely, Mira, Tony, NightShadow- WHAA?!? SHE GOT AWAY?!?!

Kiely- SHE'S LOOSE IN MY HOUSE?!?!?

Joey- Hey, Yugi's been gone for a while too!!! 

Seto- He must've sneaked in to rescue her!!!

Mai- Let's find them!

[All run off in separate directions to find Yugi and Tea who are making out on a couch in the living room]

Joey- [while running through the living room] Hey Yug, you seen ya-self recently?!

Yugi- [Points to kitchen while still kissing Tea]

Joey- T'anks Yug! [Runs into kitchen] Wait a minute… [Starts to turn around] AHH!!! [Falls into giant hole in floor] Hey Yug, dis isn't funny!!!

Mai- [walks into living room] Hey, Yugi, there you are… Have you seen Joey?

Yugi- [Points to kitchen while still kissing Tea]

Mai- Thanks… Go easy on him Tea, he's not used to that… [Strolls into kitchen] Joey? Whoa!!! [Falls into hole] Joey, did you get hungry?! What did I tell you about eating the floor?!?!?

Serenity- Hey, Yugi, Tea, have you seen Mai or Joey? I can't find them anywhere in this huge mansion… 

Yugi- [Points to kitchen while still kissing Tea]

Serenity- Thanks Yugi… [Giggles at sight of Yugi and Tea, then walks into the kitchen] Huh?! AH! [Falls into hole]

Duke, Tristan, Mokuba- Have you seen Serenity?!?!

Yugi- [Points to kitchen while still kissing Tea]

Duke, Tristan, Mokuba- OUT OF MY WAY!!! [Run into kitchen pushing and shoving the whole way. Fall into hole, I think you know the drill…]

Seto- Have you seen Mokuba?

Yugi- [Points to kitchen while still kissing Tea]

Seto- [struts into living room w/ Kiely]… [Staring at Yugi] Ugh... Yugi, don't do that, it'll make you sick… I'll be in my office upstairs, if you see him tell him where we are and that he should 

Kiely- [disgusted look on her face] … see you guys later… hopefully not… [walks off w/ Seto]

Mira- [frantically runs into living room dressed in full bridal wear] Have you seen Seto?!?!?

Yugi- [Points to kitchen while still kissing Tea]

Mira- [Runs into kitchen screaming] I'M COMING SETO SWEETIE!!! YOUR BRIDE IS HERE!!! AHH! [Falls into hole]

DG, Diablo, Tony- [stroll into living room giggling] Where'd everybody go?!?! [See Yugi and Tea] O_O ewww… [All run upstairs to DG's room to play Kingdom Hearts again]

Yugi- [breaks away from Tea] So, can we bake cookies now?!

**Credits:**

Cast-

Kiely Nikko Marie

DG 

Seto Kaiba

Mira Nova 23

Diablo (a.k.a. Yami Midori)

Tony

NightShadow

Mokuba Kaiba

Yugi Mutou

Joey Wheeler

Tristan Taylor

Mai Valentine

Serenity Wheeler

Tea Gardner

Bakura

Ryou Bakura

Special Guest Appearances by- 

Marik Ishtar (a.k.a. Yami Malik)

DG's Dad

Special Thanks to: Mira Nova 23, Fountains of Wayne, Disney for that mega odd thing Rafiki keeps chanting in the Lion King, Square Soft for Kingdom Hearts, one of the coolest games in the world, my Honors US History class for being a very bizarre bunch of teens with the weirdest yet coolest teacher ever, Dunkin' Donuts for creating the Coolatta (which they still own though I bought a few several times…), and everyone who reviewed: 

**Chaos and Yami Chaos77**-YAY!!! DEATH TO TEA!!! Yea, I don't like yaoi too much either, it scares me a bit…

**Liviania**-Your history class sounds kinds scary. That episode was only 1 class of mine; you should see my notes on the others…

**BlueEyesGirl**-I liked that part too, I remember laughing during the History test and Mr. Shepard my history teacher was looking at me and Mira (who sits behind me) with this really odd look on his face…

**Mokubaliker1**-Sorry I didn't kill Tea this eppy, I will try to put it in an upcoming one…

And of course **Mira Nova 23**- do I really have to answer u?! I'll tell u in skool…

Thanks again, I plan to do a few more episodes, maybe up to15 if I'm not too busy, I hope you read them! To everyone else: Please Review!

Mai, Joey, Duke, Tristan, Serenity, Mokuba, Mira- Hey! Aren't you gonna let us out of this hole!??!? 

Author's Voice- umm… nope!!!... [Skips off to learn more Japanese] la la la la la… 

Kiely- [heard walking past kitchen on way to car on way to Seto's personal airport on way to Aruba] Seto, why do I get the feeling we're forgetting something?

Mai, Joey, Duke, Tristan, Serenity, Mokuba, Mira- HELP!! IT'S US!!! 

Seto- It's probably nothing, let's go. [Leads Kiely out to the limo, get in, drive off]

Mai, Joey, Duke, Tristan, Serenity, Mokuba, Mira- Ooo… [Start roasting marshmallows over a burning statuette of Tea] 

Joey- Hey, Mira, stop hoggin' all da chocolate bars!!!

Mira- MINE!!!

Duke, Tristan, Serenity, Mokuba- [singing loudly] The stars at night are big and bright! Deep in the heart of Texas!!! 

Mai, Joey, Mira- SHUT UP!!! 

Mira- If there's gonna be any singing here it's gonna be me! Everybody!!! This is the trade that never ends!!! It just goes on and on my friends!!! Some people started smuggling stuff not paying any tariffs!!! [Is muffled by 12 hands, 11 old socks, and 20 marshmallows but keeps on singing]

Mai- Hey, let's sing something everyone likes…

Everyone- OK! Mokuba has got it going on! He's all I want and I've waited for so long! [Continue singing for entire 2 weeks of Christmas break and are not found until Kiely's cleaning maids walk into the kitchen and fall into the hole]

Brigitte the French Maid- Bonjour… Vous quels sont les enfants faisant en bas ici?! [Hello… What are you children doing down here?!]

All (except Maid of course) - O_O huh? [Blank stares all around] 

Brigitte- QU'AVEZ-VOUS FAIT A MON PLANCHER?! [WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FLOOR?!]

All (cept maid again) - Umm… no comprende… whatever you're speaking!!!

Brigitte- Pourquoi vous petit... [Why you little…] [Glares at them intensely, a technique obviously learned from none other than Seto Kaiba]

All- [sit cringing in the corner trying to hide from the evil French maid] Don't hurt us!!!

It has come to my attention at this very oddly late date that Mira Nova 23 has renamed her Yami… her yami's name is now Mira but the Mira in this show is the Hikari (whose name I won't say cuz she'll kill me…) Anyway, just wanted to clear that up… REVIEW!!!


	6. Kirei Eien Sawagi! A VDay to Remember!

Your Words Exactly!

Ok, it's been a while but I've just been sooo busy lately plus I got really sick on Monday so I slept most of the week and then I only had 2 days to meet my deadline and then I got invited to apply for National Honors Society and… and I'm still really sick so this is probably very boring…and bad language free [ok, so I lied bout that one…]…plus I sadly no longer have history class, only boring classes… and gym… so here's Eppy 6. I don't own YuGiOh or X-Men or anything else cept some of the characters and the plot and some other stuff but most of the stuff I don't own, end of story, stop asking people!!! Review if you want… I take that back, that's an order: REVIEW WHETHER YOU WANNA OR NOT!!! … Please? [Puppy dog pout]…Don't forget, _italics_ mean thoughts! O yea, and Mira wanted this eppy to have a slut theme so it kinda will but we both decided to postpone the real one til next time… don't ask, you'll see if you wait, but if you don't want to you'll have to wait a little for something else… can't tell what that something is yet but here's a clue: Mira Nova 23! 

Episode 6- Kirei Eien Sawagi!!! A V-Day to Remember! 

DG- [jumping on a hospital bed with a terminally ill patient on it] Ooo, squishy!!! Happy Day Before Valentine's Day!!! Happy Friday the 13th!!! Hey people, it's MY show today!!! See, Kiely and Seto's kid's was born today so we're shooting from that evil death zoo called the hospital! The guys show their sensitive sides! And I know that cuz I poked them all and every single one screamed!

Mira- Um, first of all, they're all in serious relationships and no one here is single… second, they were probably screaming cuz u poked them with a laser… 

DG- ^^ o yea….Ooo, and later we're all heading back to Seto's mansion with our DATES for a party!!! 

Mira Nova 23- With us today are Doctor Bob Daballoon the psychotherapist, my date Tony (a different one from last time!), my yami Dyna and her date Ryan, Mai Valentine and Joey Wheeler, Rogue (XME) and her date... Bakura?! O-k… 

DG- You'd think that after the first episode they'd hate each other… K, we also have Mokuba Kaiba and Rebecca Hawkins…O, and of course my dates!!! Yami Yugi and Marik! [Pulls both close to her] Ooo… all mine… Let's get this thing started!!!

Doctor Bob- Excuse me, but WHY THE HELL ARE THEY HERE?!?! Why am I here?!?!

DG- Yes, why are any of us here?

Doctor Bob- oy -_-… forget I asked! Come on, I'll take you to their room now, just be quiet, this IS a hospital, not a zoo… 

DG- [whispering so that only Doctor Bob can't hear] That's what he WANTS you to think! Trust me, it's a death zoo!!!

[Everyone crowds in to the Kaiba's private hospital room.]

Ryan- Whoa, it's like a mansion in here!

Seto- DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!!!! [Glares at Ryan] Who the hell is this anyway?!

Mira- O, you remember that guy Dyna and I met on the train? 

Kiely- o yea, I remember him… though his hair was a lot spikier then and he had about 20 more earrings on his left ear…

Joey- Dat's a lotta metal... how the hell'd he get through the security at da airport den, eh?

DG- I'm bored… Ooo! Who wants to turn all the bags of blood into slushies and give them to all the little kids in pediatrics?!

Tony- you did that last week you idiot…

DG- o yea… well you come up with some ideas then if you're so brilliant! Fine, then I wanna go take all the scalpels and...And… [Bursts out in tears] I dunno… 

Doctor Bob- That's ok, let out your feelings! No one really knows what he or she wants; we have to find out for ourselves!

[Uncomfortable silence]

Joey- ok, who invited the psycho creep?!

DG- k, enough idle chit chat, let's focus people, the sooner we get this part done, the sooner we get to party!!!

Marik- [whining] I'm bored, can I go take over the world now?

All- NO!

Marik- [hair flying around again] YOU WILL LET ME LEAVE OR I WILL BANISH YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM!!!

DG- [hugs him] You're so cute when you do that! ^^ …Sugar?

Marik- Ooo, ok! [Quickly untangles himself from DG and sits down w/ bowl of sugar]

Rogue- [holding rather large bouquet of bright red and orange flowers that resemble flames] So, Baghera, whereva did you get these astonishing flowers? O, you're so sweet! [Now, voice changes to anger and contempt! Work with me people! You can do it!] _Remy_ never got me pretty flowers like these! 

Bakura- [ignoring wrong name] O, Marik and I picked them up on a visit to the shadow Realm. They're very rare you know, only grow in the (eh-hem) [clears throat, studies fingernails] most dangerous parts- namely the LAVA PITS and some parts of HELL… but they were sooo easy to get… Connections! [Winks]

Joey- Yea, well if you went to hell you shoulda stayed "Baghera!" You and ya little friend Marik ova there almost KILLED my girlfriend!!!

DG- [with a few scalpels in her hands, all ready to throw] If you two don't shut up, I'll kill you both! 

Marik- Ooo, can I send them to the shadow realm, pretty please?!?!? 

Rogue- Sure, just me and mah Bakura…

Bakura- _hey, she got my name right AND she called me "her" Bakura! …she must really like me_… yea, just me and Rogue!

Dyna- This is too weird… A Southern gothic mutant who can absorb other mutants' powers and a psycho evil spirit-possessed Brit… 

Kiely- Who loves blood and pointy objects, can't forget that…

Mira- They're actually…

DG- Pretty compatible…

Dyna, Kiely, Mira, DG- weird…

Everyone cept Dyna, Kiely, Mira, DG- O_O weird…

Kiely- Oh, don't tell me you've never

Mira- Answered someone else's

Dyna- Sentences before!

Tony- …No… Why are we here again?

Doctor Bob- Ah, life's greatest mystery… I believe-

Kiely- O-k, everyone sick of Doctor Bob?! [Click! He's sent to the Shadow Realm so that Marik can deal with him later]

[Nurse comes in with bassinet] 

Kiely- o look, it's Kirei… everyone, this is Kirei Eien Sawagi- loosely translates into Beautiful Eternal Chaos ^^… the newest Kaiba…

Marik- Aw, that's a perfect name… [Teary eyed]

Bakura- I love eternal chaos… may she always be a little demoness! … [Teary eyed]

Yami Yugi- May she always trust in the heart of the cards! [Teary eyed]

DG- [rolls eyes, mutters] stupid yamis… Well, so who's up for party?!

All the girls- Alright! Party!

All the guys- [crowded around Kiely and Kirei] "Aww!" "She's so adorable!" "Can I hold her?" "She looks just like you!"

DG- O_O 

Mira- Can we do a rewind on that?

DG- Don't think it would work… o-k, I'm officially freaked out, let's move!

Mai- Yup, let's go, we'll... [slyly] get things ready!

[Girls run off to the Kaiba Mansion leaving the guys, Kiely, and Kirei in the hospital]

Tony- They're gone! C'mon, let's get the stuff and meet them at the house…

Bakura- But I wanna hold the baby!!!

Seto- MINE!!! [drop kicks Bakura] NO TOUCHY!!!

Bakura- oww… fine, u take her, Rogue and I'll just have our own baby! So there!

Yami Yugi- Dude, she doesn't like you! She and that Remy guy just broke up! 

Marik- Rebound!!!

Bakura- You're… You're lying! 

Tony- Thick-skulled little… look, you were the first- well, first after me of course- guy that looked halfway decent and I was already taken so of course she chose you!

Bakura- I don't believe you! … I… I need to be alone! [Runs off somewhere crying]

[Cheerful male announcer] We Evilly Interrupt this Heart wrenching Moment in an attempt to be just like all the other talk shows-turned-soaps to bring you these messages from our sponsors! 

            ~**Support FFAMAC!!! Foundation for Abused Mirrors and Calculators!!! **

**            ~If you don't like something, get rid of it! The Central Government DOES NOT CARE!!! Aren't you glad you know that? [Crowd] YEA!**

And We're Back! Here's what we last saw on Your Words Exactly! before our commercial break- 

**Bakura****- I don't believe you! … I… I need to be alone! [Runs off somewhere crying] ****And the oddly placed drama continues!**

Tony- I… I didn't mean to make him cry! I feel so ashamed!!! O well, hey Yami, pass the nachos!

Joey- Isn't it time to meet da girls? We got da "stuff", right?

Seto- [checks big brown paper bag] Yea, let's go. I don't have time to wait forever, and neither does Kiely. We have business matters to attend to so let's make this quick.

[Guys run off somewhere, camera finds Bakura crying in the corner of Kiely's basement]

Bakura- [tearfully] SOGGY CHICKEN NUGGETS!!!! 

DG-[pops up behind him] Soapy soapy soap!!! Whatcha doin'?

Bakura- [whirls around hitting DG in the head w/ DIE YOU EVIL LITTLE-… o, it's you… hi… o, nothing… hey, do you think Rogue really likes me?

DG- Don't know don't care- Where's Marik?!?

Mira- [pops up behind DG] Did ya call me?!

DG-[faints from shock] 

Bakura- O_O Marik.. You're… You're a girl!!! O_O AHH!!! [Runs upstairs screaming] CROSSDRESSER ON THE LOOSE!!! RUN!!!

Mira- what the fuck… I'm not Marik!!! …O well.. [Starts dancing wildly, disco lights come on- what was thought to be a basement is really a locker room full of purple corn flakes and a giant orange broccoli-like plant] She bangs! She bangs!!! 

[Upstairs the girls are… umm… "Dancing" w/ Seto at his bar]

Kiely- Seto! Oh! To the left now… [Already covered in champagne and, for some odd reason, pixy stix flavored-sugar stuff]

Dyna- Bend over… lean back… Ooo, now the right… [Splashing wine around as she moves]

Mai- Ahhh… mm… ok, now the middle, and make it forceful! Hey Yami, bring me some more of that Bailey's!

Rogue- Careful not ta get too much skin Kaiba!

Mira- [upstairs now] Hey, whatcha doin?

DG- Oh, nothin' O:-) we're just…teaching Seto a new dance move or two… care to join? 

Mira- nah, I got Tony, I'm good… where is he anyway?

Seto- o, the rest of the guys are just getting stuff ready for tomorrow night… I decided to hang around down here with you lovely ladies! Ooo, Kiely… so sweet… mmm… [I'm sure you can guess what verb phrase comes here w/o me saying…]

Mira- umm…I don't wanna be left out, Seto come here! Hey, no fair, gimme some of that! [Grabs bottle of wine and chugs it] WOOWOOWOOWO!!!

Kiely- I kinda hope Kirei never finds a tape of this…

Seto- [staggering] How many kids do I got again?

Mira- Depends on which mom you're talkin' bout!

Seto- Nah, I mean just me… meeee….

Dyna- You by yourself?

Seto- MINE!!! They're all…mm-mine!!!

Kiely- Uh, hon, doesn't work that way, thought we discussed that… 

Seto's Mom- [pops up] Seto, honey, I thought we already had that little "talk"…

Seto- [temporarily snapping outta drunken stupor] O_OWHO THE HELL ARE YOU???!!! YOU'RE NOT MY MOMMY!!! [Glares and shoves her out the window]

Mai- Mommy-go-boom! Yami! 'Nother beer! Noth.. nother beer! [Slumps to floor]

[Joey, Ryan, and Tony come in and see their drunken girlfriends lying all over the floor with Seto Kaiba]

Joey, Ryan, Tony- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!?! 

Kiely- ok, now that everyone is finally back together… wait, where the hell are Mokie and Becky?!

DG- ah, lemme guess- 1 place I would be if I ran off on V-Day… hot tub!!! [Grabs Kiely's remote, which is actually starting to gather dust… Click! Screen pops down w/ a portal to the hot tub. Everyone walks through.]

Everyone (cept Mokie and Becky of course)- O_O [Freeze Frame!]

Off-Screen voice- It seems our cast has stumbled upon a shocking sight- what were Mokuba and Rebecca doing?! Find out after the break!

[Singing] "IIIIIII!!!! I! I just wanna waste your ti-iiiiii-iiiime!!! O yea baby! Ti-iii-iime! I just wanna waste your time!" Buy Waste of Time, the first hit album by STD!!!(See YuGi-Ized songs sometime later this month for further details!!!) And if you still have time after they wasted some of it, buy their new single Dying Is Not a Capitol Crime! Preview of music video available on next eppy of Your Words Exactly! And speaking of the show, let's get back to it!

[Everyone is standing around hot tub]

Mokuba and Rebecca- [making out in the hot tub]

Mira- [staring at clothes strewn all over patio and tennis courts] what the hell was going on out here?

Dyna- Isn't it obvious? It seems the "innocent" are not so innocent after all! 

Mokie- Oh come on, don't tell me you've never…

Ryan- gone snowboarding? No, actually I haven't…

Becky- He was talking about…

Tony- Oooo, skateboarding! Nah, I do it all the time! Wanna see my lazy ass manual?!

DG- -_-" that doesn't explain the clothes all over the place…

Mokie- O:-) we only played… freeze tag!

Mai- O really? Then why are neither of you wearing your clothes?!?

Becky- It was.. too hot out here???

Joey- Uh huh, yea Uncle Mokie, dat's why you're in the hot tub.. cuz it's too damn hot out hea…

Kiely- Sounds to me like some-one had a little strip tease!

Mokie- We were playin' freeze tag, honest! And DON'T CALL ME UNCLE MOKIE!!!

Rogue- Strip freeze-tag???

Mira, Dyna, DG, Kiely, Mai- Sounds like fun!!! Let's play!!! [Cept for Rogue of course who would probably kill them all if she played, all run around ripping the guys clothes off and vice versa… yes, they have very odd minds, but what did you expect, they're drunk, I'm deliriously sick, and it's late at night…and I'm remembering school… O_O well, yes people were ripping their clothes off at times but NO, we were NOT playing strip tag! That's scheduled for next week ^^]

[A/N: O_o o-k, no, that was not planned… like I said in the very first chapter, this is nothing but pure randomity… yes, that's a new word, I just made it up… see, everything I do is random…most of the time…]

[2 hours and 8 ripped off outfits later… can you tell I just love brackets?! Anyway, everyone is in the hot tub…]

Kiely- Hey, guys? It just occurred to me… we're still on live TV!!! 

Everyone- O_O 

DG- o well, I'm sure EVERYONE out there wants to see us all… like this anyway… sick minded little perverts!

Mira- this is actually quite a normal day compared to the others… ooo, can we show the audience?! All the other days?! Aw come on, those were fun! 

DG- Not in my world… sooo, what do you wanna do now? Valentine's Day doesn't officially start for a few hours… It's only 9 PM [not real time right now!]

Tony- Well, we could play Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4…

Dyna- You just wanna see Demoness do Aw Yea's and dance for you!

Tony- ^^ is that a bad thing?

Ryan- That actually does sound fun though… ^^ aww, come on! Please?! [Puppy dog pout]

Dyna- ooo, why have a picture do it for you when you've got me?!

Ryan- Even better! [Runs off w/ Dyna]

Yami- Punk guys get all the fun :-( 

Bakura- [runs out] Rogue! There's something I gotta tell you!

Rogue- Well I don't think I wanna hear it right now…

Bakura- LISTEN OR BE SENT TO THE SHADOWS!!! [Deep breath] yugiandmeandteaaregettingathreewaymarriageandwe'removingtonevadatojointherussiancircus!

Rogue- Whaddaya mean? In English please! Y'all northerner's talk to damn fast!

Bakura- [reeeeeally slowly] Yu-gi and me and Te-a are gett-ing a three way marr-iage and we're mo-ving to Ne-va-da to join the Rus-sian cir-cuz. Slow enough for ya?!

Rogue- You're leaving me?! [Bursts out into tears] why doesn't anyone love me?!?! [Runs away]

Bakura- NOOOO!!! ROGUE!!! COME BACK!!! I LOVE YOU!!! [Chases her into living room w/ everyone else behind him]

Rogue- [pops head around corner] Ya do?! [Runs up to him and squeezes him tightly] yay!

Kiely- [grabs Seto, hugs him tightly] aww… I remember when we first met…

Joey- ya mean at that strip club in Hoboken?

Kiely- No you dumb ass, we met on that cruise to Cancun!

Tony- right, at the strip club on the cruise from Hoboken to Cancun… 

Mai- I met Joey on a cruise…

Mira- It wasn't a cruise, it was a trip to Duelist Kingdom! And that shoulda been me there!!! ME!!

DG- Uh, Mira, you're not a YuGiOh character…

Mira- BUT I SHOULDA BEEN!!! Hey look, math homework… [Sits down to finish homework] O_O AH!!! THE LINES!!! THE LINES ARE ON TOP OF EACH OTHER!!! 

Mai- …eww… that math class of yours is so weird… I heard a skier fell off a cliff and then your teacher wanted you all to get a sex change…

DG- yea that was today oooo! I totally forgot! Eppy 8 is YuGiOh behind the scenes on April Fool's day! 

Kiely- Yea well thanks for telling everyone you stupid baka! O well, you might as well know anyway… hey, what did I tell you about jumping topics?!

DG- That it's bad unless the new topic is hotter than the old topic?

Kiely- o yea ^^… 

Mira- THE DIET OF WORMS!!!

Mokie- Yum!

Rebecca- Yuck! Teddy says that's utterly revolting! I have no idea what that means but that's gross!

DG- o-k, it's the day before V-Day; let's change the subject!

Mai- got the clothes?!

Kiely- yup! [Whips out bag of clothing from behind couch] Who wants to be the subject?!

Joey, Ryan, Seto, Bakura, Tony, Yami- O_O can't we just play Spin the Bottle instead?!

Mira- Baby game! This is more fun… especially the undressing!

Rogue- Geeze, y'all have such dirty minds today! Now if Bobby or Logan or even Remy were hea… 

Bakura- YOU'RE SEEING ANOTHER GUY?!?! 3 OTHER GUYS?!?! I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!!!

Mira- I'm just being suggestive! I mean… wait… well... Under the sea! We got ecstasy! Come party with me! Hey look… sugar!!! YAY!!!

DG- MY SUGAR HANDS OFF!!! Hey, I got an idea, who wants to sneak over to Yugi's?!

Dyna- [back with Ryan who has lipstick all over his face and clothes] O_O Ooo! How much you wanna bet Tea's there?! Let's go!

[Everyone goes over to Yugi's house and sneaks inside. candle lit table is set for 2, half eaten food is on it]

Joey- [quietly] Ooo! Lasagna! Yu-gi! Where are ya!

Mai- Yugi's bedroom is that way, the storage closet is this way, let's split up- just don't get caught! And call the others before you show yourselves!

[Group splits into 2 groups- Group 1: Kiely and Seto, Mira and Tony, DG and Yami Yugi; Group 2: Dyna and Ryan, Rogue and Bakura, Mokie and Becky]

Kiely- c'mon, we'll take the… the bedroom! [Drags Seto and rest of group to Yugi's room] OOO!! Video games!!! HUGE PLASMA SCREEN TV!!! And 6 controllers! I call blue car!

[While group 1 enjoys Yugi's video game collection, group 2 continues on their "mission"]

Dyna- hey, where'd Marik go?

[Marik-[skipping through fields of flowers in the shadow realm] I'm gonna pick a dai-sy! Pick-a-dilly daisy!]

Bakura- I dunno… hey, what's that sound?

Rogue- I'll bet it's them! [Follows sound to Grandpa's bedroom. Sound gets louder]

Tea - Yugi-oh-oh-oh! [Yes, that's how the American commercial goes… sick isn't it?]

Group 2- O_O ugh… swim away! [Scatter in different directions but somehow all end up in the same room…] OOO! VIDEO GAMES!!! 

Kiely- I guess we'll need more controllers… [CLICK! 6 more controllers pop up] Let's race!  Go away audience and camera people, can't you see we're trying to play here?! Show's over! Go home! No you can't beat me, I was in first!!! OUTTA MY WAY!!!! Hey, where's what's her name… the baby?

DG- O_O oy… she's with the nanny… 

Seto- the what?!?! Who???

Find out next eppy! … Shorts! No, not shorts kinda shorts, I mean it'll be a short! C ya! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!

Credits:

Cast:

Kiely Nikko Kaiba

Seto Kaiba

Kirei Eien Sawagi Kaiba

DragonGurl1

Mira Nova 23

Tony P.

Ryan the guy we met on the train whose name probably isn't really Ryan anyway (if you're reading this which I kinda doubt, omg! Hi! Mira loves you!!! Email her!!!)

Doctor Bob Daballoon

Dyna (Yami Mira)

Joey Wheeler

Mai Valentine

Marik Ishtar

Yami Yugi

Rogue

Bakura (Yami Ryou)

Mokuba Kaiba

Rebecca Hawkins

Thanks to: Mira Nova 23 (as usual…), Willy Wonka for pixy stix (ALL HAIL WILLY WONKA!!!), my teachers for being so… weirdly boring and just plain strange, and anyone else I forgot… um… 

A/N: yea ok, I guess that's it… now to go sleep off this fever… Happy V-Day… review and whatnot… c ya in whenever… ooo, by the way, I'm starting like 10 more fics before the end of this year, finishing Totally Predictable sometime soon so I can finally stop worrying about it, and in maybe a week or 2 publishing a romance fic… be sure to check that out, it'll mainly be romance but it's got just about everything in it- humor, angst, mystery, etc… and it's rated R so be prepared if you're gonna read it, it's not rated R for nothing… c ya… o, if you think _this_ fic should be rated R, just tell me, I'm kinda considering it anyway… I promise the next one won't be so… yea… this was a one time thing (well, ok, so maybe 2 but that'll be different too…) cuz of the evil nosy freshmen on my bus… don't ask… I'm bored, c ya.


End file.
